My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
