Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
