i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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