It's Friday. Sex?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
