I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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