So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
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Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
As shirtless as possible
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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