Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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