Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
