that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
