Non-Jews are for practice
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
