his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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