I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
