every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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