You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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