tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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