i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So vagazzling was a success
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize