You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
