I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
