By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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