Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
