I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
This is the high leading the old right now
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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