she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
