I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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