i need an iv and a liver transplant
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Randomize
