I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I wear drunk well.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
