Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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