I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
