This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
