Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
