glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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