i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
