I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Randomize
