sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
