..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
