somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
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for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Mom said you looked used
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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