I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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