do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
