ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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