we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
