bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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