The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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