found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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