So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize