I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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