Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
