shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We left the knife in your bed.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Randomize
