sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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