ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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