he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
