My girlfriend figured out who you are.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
