She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize