I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If I die, sorry about rent.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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