I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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