Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
