Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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