can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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