hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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