Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
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Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
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I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
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