I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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