508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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