He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
