This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
