So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just want nice things and good sex
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
