You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
